100 things about me

I think every blogger does this. It's time.

1. I have deformed little toes. When I flex my feet, they extend back and to the side. It's the way I know I am definitely related to my dad.
2. Both of my parents are alcoholics.
3. I have struggled with some form of anxiety and depression since I was 15. The past 4 years are the only time I haven't been on some form of antidepressant.
4. My highest weight was 174.5 pounds.
5. My husband is 15 years older than me. This was a big scandal at one point but we have really proved that age is just a number.
6. I grew up in Stratford, Connecticut, which is most famous for having the largest asbestos plant (now closed, obviously) in the US.
7. I have an irrational hatred of leggings.
8. I used to lie a lot when I was a kid. I realize now its because I was bored and wanted my life to be exciting.
9. I thought I was a lesbian for about 6 months.
10. I wrote my first full length play when I was 13 years old. It was called "Heaven on Earth" and was a blatant West Side Story rip off. I wanted to produce it at my middle school but it had too many swears so my principal said I couldn't.
11. I found my grandmother dead of a heart attack on the sidewalk at the Trumbull Marriott after we'd spent the day swimming. I was 12. I don't remember seeing anything but her feet. I still dream about it.
12. I like intercourse better than oral sex. Not like I'd turn either down, but still.
13. I have only done a hard drug once. It was ecstasy. I was 18. It was awful.
14. I unabashedly love bacon. It may be my favorite food.
15. I performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland when I was 16 with my acting magnet school. It remains the peak experience of my life.
16. I was madly in love with my high school best friend, and I still think about her more often than she likely deserves.
17. I was supposed to be at the World Trade Center when 9/11 happened. I overslept that day.
18. My university now has one of the top 10 theater programs in the country. That was decidedly not the case when I went there.
19. I love the movie Titanic and I'm not sorry.
20. My right foot turns in, causing me to walk pigeon toed sometimes. This is embarrassing and at times I wonder how no one noticed this when I was growing up and tried to fix it.
21. I have been smoking cigarettes for ten years.
22. When I was 6, I got in trouble in CCD for saying that Jesus and Mary Magdalene should have gotten married.
23. During a particularly crippling bout of depression, I used to snoop through my husband's computer. I still feel guilty about it.
24. My mother tried to commit suicide when I was 17.
25. That same week, my father went to rehab.
26. My father has been in detox more than 33 times for alcohol abuse.
27. My younger brother was incorrectly thought to be autistic when he was little. It just turned out he was shy.
28. I am a huge Tori Amos fan. I have seen her in concert 15 times and met her twice. I will continue to love her even if her albums suck.
29. I think my hair is my best feature.
30. People think I'm really funny and for the life of me I can't ever be funny on purpose.
31. I have only blacked out from drinking once. I was 19 and had many many many shots of tequila. I woke up in my bathtub.
32. I have lived in 5 different apartments in New York City, in three different boroughs.
33. My first job was at Baskin Robbins when I was 16. You think you'd get sick of ice cream, but you don't.
34. I do not have a driver's license. I also pretty much don't know how to drive. I plan on changing this.
35. When I throw up, I cry like a 4 year old.
36. Going to the doctor scares the shit out of me.
37. I am very afraid of dying. VERY afraid.
38. My first roommate was transgendered.
39. I have been on 8 cruises. I think the most recent one may be my last.
40. The most money I have ever spent on shoes is $280. This is about to change.
41. I watch Days of Our Lives religiously. I have been since I was 5 years old and used to watch it with my mom.
42. I was an actress for ten years.
43. When I get mad, I cry.
44. I cannot get through a day without a cup of coffee. It is physically impossible.
45. I used to get strep throat three times a year. Ever since I left my hometown, I have only taken an antibiotic once.
46. I think that if I didn't watch my habits carefully, I would be addicted to benzodiazepenes because they are that awesome.
47. I like to listen to sad songs so I can cry.
48. I have been to London twice.
49. I still secretly want to be a singer.
50. I was in the top 20 of my high school and college classes.
51. I work at a hedge fund and actually find it interesting.
52. I know all the words to most Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals.
53. I am starting to get spider veins on my thighs.
54. I have never been to a spa.
55. I don't really like vibrators.
56. Sometimes I get obsessed with touching my own boobs. I don't know if I just really like them or if I'm looking for lumps.
57. I have had an actual conversation with Paul Newman.
58. I waited tables for 6 years.
59. I have also had an actual conversation with Shirley MacLaine.
60. I am finding it hard to write 100 things about myself.
61. My favorite soda is root beer.
62. My favorite restaurant is Nobu. I've eaten there like 5 times.
63. I hate cleaning.
64. Because of #64, my house is always a mess (my husband hates cleaning too).
65. At one point, we were very close to bankruptcy.
66. I have been a Weight Watchers member for three years.
67. I used to play guitar really badly.
68. I used to be a terrible insomniac.
69. I used to take dreams really seriously. Like they were premonitions.
70. I think I should have been a veterinarian.
71. I am obsessed with cats. I love them. I have 2 but I want more. I've never not had a cat. They are just the best things ever.
72. The first time I got drunk, it was off a 40 ounce St. Ides Special Brew. I threw up on my dad.
73. I am terrible at math.
74. If I had gotten 10 points higher on my SAT, I would have had a full scholarship to college.
75. I have a hard time sleeping without my husband.
76. I got married on a beautiful day in Central Park surrounded by my closest friends and family. I would not change a thing about it.
77. Mike proposed to me in our living room in Manhattan, in the morning, when I was in my PJ's.
78. I would not mind being rich.
79. The first time I gave someone a blowjob, I threw up out of the car door.
80. I prefer Macs over PC's.
81. I spend wayyyyy too much time on the internet.
82. I am not a natural redhead. I have no idea what my natural haircolor is.
83. I have a birthmark on my right arm that looks like an elephant.
84. I am a giant mushball.
85. I have never cheated on anyone, but I have been the other woman.
86. I love PJ's. I would wear them all day if I could.
87. I used to dress really, really badly. It took me a long time to figure it out.
88. I have actually worn clogs in public. See above.
89. My ideal evening is staying home and watching a movie.
90. I am terrified of airplanes. I have a phobic reaction even looking at one. It takes me two xanax to even board, never mind get through the flight. I will not let this keep me from traveling.
91. I am a descendant of Nazis. No, really. My grandmother had relatives in Germany who were in the Nazi party. I hate this fact.
92. Both of my grandfathers were in World War II.
93. I am a fiercely loyal person and freak out if anyone hurts someone close to me.
94. I will eat barbecue sauce on almost anything.
95. I used to hate dark chocolate. Now I won't really eat anything else.
96. I love shoes so much that I get flushed when I shop for them.
97. Fundamentalist religion scares the crap out of me.
98. I am petrified of cockroaches, but I like spiders.
99. I was obsessed with ants as a child. I used to spend hours watching and feeding them. I was weird.
100. While I am grateful for my life, I sometimes wish I could go back in time and do absolutely everything different just to see what would have happened.