Okay, maybe not the worst songs in the world but ones that I hate the most. I was reading a post the other day by the adorable and hilarious Hyperbole and a Half , where she talked about the fact that she can't have a radio alarm clock due to serious risk of Mambo Number 5 and All Things Lou Bega. I can't really argue with her there, and it got me thinking about songs that would make me go criminally insane, Unabomber style, if I were ever to be woken up by them.
Butterfly Kisses
Okay, truth be told, there was about a year there where this song was on the radio a LOT. And I did get woken up by it enough times that I have post traumatic stress disorder. But honestly, this song is the most horrendous pile of Jesusy crap I've ever heard in my entire life. It's just straight up CREEPY. I can't believe that girls seriously dance to this song at their weddings with their dads. Unless your name is Mackenzie Phillips, there is no reason to get emotional about this song. That shit is just a bit pedobear for me.
Umbrella
This song sucks a giant dick. I'm sorry. I don't care that it was the Official Summer Jam of '08, it is potentially the most annoying song on the planet.
Bad Romance
I think being woken up by ROMAROMAROMAROMA GAGAOHLALALA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH would make me homocidal within moments (nope, still not on the Gaga train, sorry kids). I can deal with this song at the gym/whatever, but in the morning, it would make me smash my clock radio into smithereens.
Working for the Weekend
Self explanatory. This song is especially annoying on a Monday.
When I'm Back on My Feet Again
True story: my mom loved Michael Bolton in the 90's. Also a true story: my friend Liz and I defaced her Michael Bolton liner notes with a Sharpie when we were 13. True story number 3: my mother went to a Kenny G/Michael Bolton concert. On purpose. And the final true story: I have traumatic memories of being driven to friends' houses with Michael Bolton blasting on cassette in the car. I used to say that my own personal hell would involve being trapped in a small room, tied to a chair, being forced to listen to Michael Bolton for the rest of eternity. That's still true.
Friday, January 15, 2010
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Another true story: That song was one of her "get drunk and be sad and repeat the same song 10054 times" jams. Now it's Susan Boyle. Thanks a lot Kari!!!! ;-)
I'd rather Susan Boyle than Michael Bolton. I know, it's a toss up, but things could always be worse.
I can't wake up to music for the same reason, it would ruin a song for me. I love music and if it is what pulls me from my wonderful dreams I will likely hate the song forever. Michael Bolton... I am cracking up... I had a cassette when I was younger. I don't admit that often, just did though.
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